I have seen many people transition from this life. I have lost family and loved ones before. However, the last time I lost someone in my immediate lineage was when my maternal grandmother transitioned. I recently lost my uncle Moise on January 5th. This was my mother’s younger brother. As I type about it I feel the pain all over again.
My uncle was a pastor. He was our Angel. He showed up for every major family function. He was one of the few relatives that were extremely happy I went to seminary. He was also a fellow Aries. I called my uncle every year to say happy birthday. It is so unreal that he is no longer here. How can the Angel go? I am still grieving and full of sadness. I tried to remedy this pain with my pen. I wrote a poem and thought I was ok. Poetry usually helps and heals but I found myself crying harder after I wrote the poem. So, this blog post is dedicated to those that mourn or have mourned a significant loss recently or are still grieving a loss.
It is okay NOT to be ok today, tomorrow, the next day, month, year, whatever the time span is. Grieving is one of those things that does not go away, you just learn to live with grief and find different ways to grieve. Crying and being completely sad is just one form of grieving. Poetry is therapeutic for me and it did help me to see my uncle’s death in a new light but the grief did not leave. I cried all weekend and Monday I tried to have a normal day but my heart was still heavy. I did not force myself to stick to my normal routine, I just allowed myself to just rest and grieve. The next day was a little more normal to the point I worked out. The workout helped me maintain a pretty normal week.
The weekend came and my cousin sent me a picture of my uncle for the funeral program. The picture triggered my grief all over again. Even writing this has me crying as if I was given the news all over again. All I keep thinking about is how my mom and all her siblings are doing if this hurts me like this? How are his wife and children feeling? Our family is not ok but we are living with grief that will never go away. If you are someone who is living with grief know that you are not alone and it’s ok not to be ok.
On Saturday, February 20th we will have my uncle’s funeral and I know that this will release another layer of grief for my family. May our family’s Angel Moise Desroches Rest In Peace. We miss you and we are not ok. To everyone that lives with grief may we learn to grow with grief in different ways.
Love Your Poet,
Zulmie
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